gotta pee GOTTA PEEEEEEE gugugugowtahh peeeeey. AH.
August 24, 2011
August 14, 2011
June 21, 2011
(:
confidence is key... seriously. take it from me. i am a very very self concious person, but when u start being confident and feeling good... living life the way u wanna live it, there is nothing at all to worry about. and thats pretty much what being self concious is... worrying what people think. but the thing is, people think better of you when u dont care what people think, than when you cater to their thoughts of you.
June 19, 2011
Whyy
Why is it so hard to be yourself? like... you are you... ugh. it's from the pressure to be perfect, i guaruntee that, but i know from personal experience..... that acting differently in front of different people just makes you seem like a freak. makes people not want to be around you. makes people not see the real you.. obviously. yet i still continue to do it.
but the worst part is, i do it with the people that i care the most to impress. what the fuck.
now honestly, i shouldnt care about this stuff... i should just blow it off. cuz time moves on right? haha! well thats not me.... i stay up all night, thinking back, and thinking about what i should have said.. what i shouldnt have said. what i couldve done to make the situation better.
thats just me.
UGH. sure sucks to be me.
sucks to be me.
June 14, 2011
June 11, 2011
June 6, 2011
LOL wtf?? ;) I'm so cool.
DUDE, I am fricken OBSESSED with the beatles right now. Why does it just SO HAPPEN to be right when i start hangin out with this guy who is ALSO obsessed with the beatles?? cuz now i can't be obsessed with them publicly or i will come off as creepy or "try-hard" ... UGH...
Why AM i obsessed with them right now??
is it him...?
I don't even like him that much.
EERG.
I can't get "I wanna hold your HANNNDDDD" outta my head!!! :/
and i can't stop thinking about him while i hear it... :|
Note to Self: Possible good baby names:
Lucy?
Jude?
John, Paul, Ringo, or... UGH... I always forget George.
He was the ugly one right...?
LOL... ughh but seriously... Jude, or Ringo if a boy...
Those are SICK names. :)
Note to Self: (Or whatever you wanna call it) :
Why do i say sick all of a sudden? DONT. you sound like a poser.
(ANOTHER) Note to Self:
Keep reading book "The Cure to Crushes... And other deadly diseases" To find out what previous not to self/ whatever that was would be called (i stole this "note to self stuff from it, I like the idea... It makes it more personal... :) ) Footnote? IDK.
A.N.T.S:
ahhh crap... forgot what i was gunna say....
OHH!!! start another blog more like a diary, so i can be like this in it, all the time. This blog will be for random stuff.... or should i just keep this blog and just suddenly convert it to being one of these??? either way...
Have to use a cool term instead of "dear journal," or "dear diary" like Anne Frank (ie: Kitty)
Possibilities:
Dude
Kitty...?
.......
................. ?
ummmm...
...Kim...?
HAH.... WOW.. i suck...
A.A.N.T.S. : THINK OF ANOTHER NAME FOR DIARY TYPE THINGY UGHHH
PS: think i will just stick to this blog, I like the name of it!! :)
Y.A.N.T.S:
Stop putting so many notes to self... will NEVER remember all of them... guarunteed.
Well... guesss this is good bye!!
................
Ughhh sorry but i have to just do one more...
Y.A.A.N.T.S:
Come up with a cool sign off for diary!!! something like:
Toodalloo Scooby Doo.
After a While Crocodile...
Except not as STUPID. lol
kbye ;)
...........
hey, that's pretty good!! :) I might use that!!!! :)
Wow this is actually pretty fun just sitting here talking to myself!! it helps me alot.
I need to ramble sometimes!!!
OMFGG yeah , also,
...................
just found out today I AM GROWING SPIDER VEINS!!!!! :(:(:(:(:(
*kills self*
UGHHHHHHH im gunna go look up ways to cure, or to prevent these..... UGHHH :|
That is the FIRST step towards MOM legs... :/ UGH... no offence mom...
kbye;)
(that's good! short, sweet, and simple! :) )
k, thats it, I'm getting SUPER DUPER tired,....
kbye ;)
(WOOT WOOT!! :) found mah sign off!!!)
OK!!!!!!! THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH MEGAN!!!!!!!!!!!! >:|
kbye................ ;)
ugh........
kbye ;)
Why AM i obsessed with them right now??
is it him...?
I don't even like him that much.
EERG.
I can't get "I wanna hold your HANNNDDDD" outta my head!!! :/
and i can't stop thinking about him while i hear it... :|
Note to Self: Possible good baby names:
Lucy?
Jude?
John, Paul, Ringo, or... UGH... I always forget George.
He was the ugly one right...?
LOL... ughh but seriously... Jude, or Ringo if a boy...
Those are SICK names. :)
Note to Self: (Or whatever you wanna call it) :
Why do i say sick all of a sudden? DONT. you sound like a poser.
(ANOTHER) Note to Self:
Keep reading book "The Cure to Crushes... And other deadly diseases" To find out what previous not to self/ whatever that was would be called (i stole this "note to self stuff from it, I like the idea... It makes it more personal... :) ) Footnote? IDK.
A.N.T.S:
ahhh crap... forgot what i was gunna say....
OHH!!! start another blog more like a diary, so i can be like this in it, all the time. This blog will be for random stuff.... or should i just keep this blog and just suddenly convert it to being one of these??? either way...
Have to use a cool term instead of "dear journal," or "dear diary" like Anne Frank (ie: Kitty)
Possibilities:
Dude
Kitty...?
.......
................. ?
ummmm...
...Kim...?
HAH.... WOW.. i suck...
A.A.N.T.S. : THINK OF ANOTHER NAME FOR DIARY TYPE THINGY UGHHH
PS: think i will just stick to this blog, I like the name of it!! :)
Y.A.N.T.S:
Stop putting so many notes to self... will NEVER remember all of them... guarunteed.
Well... guesss this is good bye!!
................
Ughhh sorry but i have to just do one more...
Y.A.A.N.T.S:
Come up with a cool sign off for diary!!! something like:
Toodalloo Scooby Doo.
After a While Crocodile...
Except not as STUPID. lol
kbye ;)
...........
hey, that's pretty good!! :) I might use that!!!! :)
Wow this is actually pretty fun just sitting here talking to myself!! it helps me alot.
I need to ramble sometimes!!!
OMFGG yeah , also,
...................
just found out today I AM GROWING SPIDER VEINS!!!!! :(:(:(:(:(
*kills self*
UGHHHHHHH im gunna go look up ways to cure, or to prevent these..... UGHHH :|
That is the FIRST step towards MOM legs... :/ UGH... no offence mom...
kbye;)
(that's good! short, sweet, and simple! :) )
k, thats it, I'm getting SUPER DUPER tired,....
kbye ;)
(WOOT WOOT!! :) found mah sign off!!!)
OK!!!!!!! THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH MEGAN!!!!!!!!!!!! >:|
kbye................ ;)
ugh........
kbye ;)
June 5, 2011
Places i HAVE to live in my life...
1. Paris (obviously . . .)
2. London . . . Or at least SOMEWHERE in England.
3. Berlin/ Bremen
4. Amsterdam?
5. Finland!!!
6. Somewhere in Iceland. ;)
7. Africa (idk what country yet . . . )
8. Vienna {it was on top 10 . . .}
9. Boulder or Denver
10. Oregon? { seems quite nice . . .}
11. MICHIGAN . . . or like somewhere over in that region . . . Toronto!?
12. ummmm can't really think of any more right now.
Note to self: Finish "WHERE TO LIVE" list later. . .
A.N.T.S: be happier. or be happy more frequently
2. London . . . Or at least SOMEWHERE in England.
3. Berlin/ Bremen
4. Amsterdam?
5. Finland!!!
6. Somewhere in Iceland. ;)
7. Africa (idk what country yet . . . )
8. Vienna {it was on top 10 . . .}
9. Boulder or Denver
10. Oregon? { seems quite nice . . .}
11. MICHIGAN . . . or like somewhere over in that region . . . Toronto!?
12. ummmm can't really think of any more right now.
Note to self: Finish "WHERE TO LIVE" list later. . .
A.N.T.S: be happier. or be happy more frequently
June 4, 2011
This has DEFINATELY gotta be a good life. :):)
*siighhhhh* just gotta be a good life. :) huh? yeeeeahh! oh goodness!! I got my WHOLE life ahead of me... to do WHATEVER i WANT!!!! with WHOEVER i WANT TO!!!!! <3 :)
{mood = INSPIRED ... obivoulsyy... heheheheheh :) }
{mood = INSPIRED ... obivoulsyy... heheheheheh :) }
SONg... AGAIN! :P ?
GOOD LIFE ~~~~~ ONE REPUBLIC :D
Woke up in London yesterday
Found myself in the city near Piccadilly
Don't really know how I got here
I got some pictures on my phone
New names and numbers that I don't know
Address to places like Abbey Road
Day turns to night, night turns to whatever we want
We're young enough to say
Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life
Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
To my friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in L.A. they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so
Paris to China to Col-or-ado
Sometimes there's airplanes I can' t jump out
Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now
We are god of stories but please tell me-e-e-e
What there is to complain about
When you're happy like a fool
Let it take you over
When everything is out
You gotta take it in
Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life
Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
A good good life Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Hopelessly
I feel like there might be something that I'll miss
Hopelessly
I feel like the window closes oh so quick
Hopelessly
I'm taking a mental picture of you now
'Cuz hopelessly
The hope is we have so much to feel good about
Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life
Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
To my friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in L.A. they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so
Paris to China to Col-or-ado
Sometimes there's airplanes I can' t jump out
Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now
We are god of stories but please tell me-e-e-e
What there is to complain about
Thank you soo much!!! :):) Without amazing music to listen to and to inspire people there would be no music in the first place! snd definatley no progression in music!!!! SOOOOO inspiring right now... can't even believe it. you read my mind. ;) i really needed this... <3
Woke up in London yesterday
Found myself in the city near Piccadilly
Don't really know how I got here
I got some pictures on my phone
New names and numbers that I don't know
Address to places like Abbey Road
Day turns to night, night turns to whatever we want
We're young enough to say
Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life
Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
To my friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in L.A. they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so
Paris to China to Col-or-ado
Sometimes there's airplanes I can' t jump out
Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now
We are god of stories but please tell me-e-e-e
What there is to complain about
When you're happy like a fool
Let it take you over
When everything is out
You gotta take it in
Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life
Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
A good good life Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Hopelessly
I feel like there might be something that I'll miss
Hopelessly
I feel like the window closes oh so quick
Hopelessly
I'm taking a mental picture of you now
'Cuz hopelessly
The hope is we have so much to feel good about
Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life
Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
To my friends in New York, I say hello
My friends in L.A. they don't know
Where I've been for the past few years or so
Paris to China to Col-or-ado
Sometimes there's airplanes I can' t jump out
Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now
We are god of stories but please tell me-e-e-e
What there is to complain about
Thank you soo much!!! :):) Without amazing music to listen to and to inspire people there would be no music in the first place! snd definatley no progression in music!!!! SOOOOO inspiring right now... can't even believe it. you read my mind. ;) i really needed this... <3
June 3, 2011
I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
CREEP by RadioHead
TOTALLY relatable song....
anybody can relate to feeling lost, alone, misunderstood.
gotta love it when its in a song thats so amazing though!!!! <3
GO RADIOHEAD!!!
*so inspiring*
But yeah... i'm a weirdo, n i'm proud of it! ;) who wants to be normal in a fricken crazy, messed up world?!
:)
....
When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here
She's running out the door
She's running out
She runs runs runs
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
TOTALLY relatable song....
anybody can relate to feeling lost, alone, misunderstood.
gotta love it when its in a song thats so amazing though!!!! <3
GO RADIOHEAD!!!
*so inspiring*
But yeah... i'm a weirdo, n i'm proud of it! ;) who wants to be normal in a fricken crazy, messed up world?!
:)
....
When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell I'm doing here?
I don't belong here
She's running out the door
She's running out
She runs runs runs
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
May 28, 2011
I hear yuh Buble...
Haven't heard this song forever...
HAD to post this right now.
DIRECTLY relates to my life and how i'm feeling... :(
Note to Self:
Get Boyfriend to mask loneliness...
Or at least a new BFF that LIVES IN THE SAME COUNTRY AS ME!!! ugh! :(
amazing how misunderstood a person can feel, with like 982742983479832748234876 other people in the world...
Anyways:
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
I'm fine baby, how are you?
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me
Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home <3 <3 <3
HAD to post this right now.
DIRECTLY relates to my life and how i'm feeling... :(
Note to Self:
Get Boyfriend to mask loneliness...
Or at least a new BFF that LIVES IN THE SAME COUNTRY AS ME!!! ugh! :(
amazing how misunderstood a person can feel, with like 982742983479832748234876 other people in the world...
Anyways:
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
I'm fine baby, how are you?
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me
Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home <3 <3 <3
May 26, 2011
Beautiful Me.
Who says your not perfect?
Who says your not beautiful??
I say, you get even more perfect with every imperfection you have.
I say, you're the most beautiful person I have ever seen.
I say, one day, that guy, too, is going to realize what he has been missing out on, and admit it too.
I think I'm beautiful. I think I am perfect... for someone out there. I just haven't crossed paths with them yet!
And when I find "him..?" I'm not just gunna settle. I'm gunna wait until i find HIM!! :)
ughh wow im such a nerd.
Who says your not beautiful??
I say, you get even more perfect with every imperfection you have.
I say, you're the most beautiful person I have ever seen.
I say, one day, that guy, too, is going to realize what he has been missing out on, and admit it too.
I think I'm beautiful. I think I am perfect... for someone out there. I just haven't crossed paths with them yet!
And when I find "him..?" I'm not just gunna settle. I'm gunna wait until i find HIM!! :)
ughh wow im such a nerd.
May 24, 2011
grawr
everythings ok, but not. its just different. somehow its not how i want it. but i know i need to make it that way. i just dont know how. gotta be creative.
being a teenager sucks.
May 15, 2011
feelin good got easier.
When you're stressed or depressed... just like stop and think WHY am i sad or whatev and 99.99999999% of the time it's because of stuff that doesn't matter, like money, clothes, belongings, etc! Just be like.. screw it. And It WILL go away... like seriously focusing on stuff that makes you happy is much better for you and your quality of life! just think... like... will being mad and screaming or throwing something REALLY help me at all? or will just being mad and bitter in general really do ANYTHING except make other people bitter, and the situation bitter.... Cmon. ;)
May 11, 2011
May 7, 2011
May 6, 2011
Swim or be saved?
Feeling so alone. So helpless.
Even with my closest friends and even family, i am awkward.
What's wrong with me?
WHY am i doing this?!?
WHO THE HELL EVEN AM I ANYMORE?!?!?
Honestly... It's a cliche, i know, but i don't know WHO i am.
My personality changes all the time, i am aware.
I can not think before i say.
I studder, I fumble, I trip, I cry, I weird people out.
But why? Why am i this... or THESE person who does this?
Wasn't I normal before??
Was THAT fake too..? A mirage, a sham..?
Honestly, I can't even remember.
My world is bursting at the seams.
I am lost in the ocean.
no one dares ot pick me up and rescue me, because they are weirded out.
They attempt to.. but then they realise... "Why should I?? the water is only 3 feet deep."
Still i lay there.
Floating in the water.
Hopelessly.
Every now and then, I realise that i just need to build up the strength to lunge my feet down and jump out of the water, but i never do.... why don't i?? IT is SO easy to do. I could even just swim back to shore! it is a bit of distance, but somewhere along the way i would realise that the water is getting shallower and shallower, and eventually stand up.
Well,
Too bad i don't do this.
I just lay there.
In the deep blue.
Worrying about losing the people who aren't even coming to the rescue.
Yet, who am i to blame them... maybe they too realize that i could just stand, or simply swim.
I wait and wait, and ever now and then someone swims up beside me and chats with me for a while, but they never touch me.
They just SWIM on bye, once they realize i am a socially awkward FREAK.
the world is pityless.
But i dont need pity anymore.
Even with my closest friends and even family, i am awkward.
What's wrong with me?
WHY am i doing this?!?
WHO THE HELL EVEN AM I ANYMORE?!?!?
Honestly... It's a cliche, i know, but i don't know WHO i am.
My personality changes all the time, i am aware.
I can not think before i say.
I studder, I fumble, I trip, I cry, I weird people out.
But why? Why am i this... or THESE person who does this?
Wasn't I normal before??
Was THAT fake too..? A mirage, a sham..?
Honestly, I can't even remember.
My world is bursting at the seams.
I am lost in the ocean.
no one dares ot pick me up and rescue me, because they are weirded out.
They attempt to.. but then they realise... "Why should I?? the water is only 3 feet deep."
Still i lay there.
Floating in the water.
Hopelessly.
Every now and then, I realise that i just need to build up the strength to lunge my feet down and jump out of the water, but i never do.... why don't i?? IT is SO easy to do. I could even just swim back to shore! it is a bit of distance, but somewhere along the way i would realise that the water is getting shallower and shallower, and eventually stand up.
Well,
Too bad i don't do this.
I just lay there.
In the deep blue.
Worrying about losing the people who aren't even coming to the rescue.
Yet, who am i to blame them... maybe they too realize that i could just stand, or simply swim.
I wait and wait, and ever now and then someone swims up beside me and chats with me for a while, but they never touch me.
They just SWIM on bye, once they realize i am a socially awkward FREAK.
the world is pityless.
But i dont need pity anymore.
April 10, 2011
New Girl
I'm used to feeling new. Being the odd one out. Yet, not? How can I be the new girl so many times.. but still feel out of place... being the new girl? How could i have moved so many times. Started my life over this many times. And still never feel like yeah, I am the new girl. And just accept it? Because deep down, I know where I belong... back where I used to be. Back where my friends were. Where my friends are. And maybe I will never be back there permanently... It's not like I ever was there permanently... But somehow, things will be normal some day. When I reach my Ruritanian.
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